With everything we have gone through in the last year this is the thing that hurts the most. It is easier to deal with physical pain than remember how I felt this day. It is the hardest to write about but I want to share everything not just the good times because God has a plan in all of it. And if you are struggling with Lyme Disease and have similar symptoms you can know that you are not alone and you can have hope that you will get better.
One morning in September I woke up and did not recognize the man sleeping beside me. I looked at my husband and had no idea who he was. I was confused and scared. Then I looked at my left hand and saw my rings. I had no idea where they were from or why they were there. After a few minutes my memory gradually came back. I remembered who Shawn was but then I was devastated that I had forgotten him. I tried to forget about it but I could not shake that awful feeling. When Shawn woke up I let him know what happened. We both knew that this meant the Lyme was no longer just causing pain and extreme fatigue but was messing with my brain. The Lyme was out of control and there was nothing we could do to fix it on our own.
In Hawai'i there are no deer ticks so very few people have even heard of Lyme. There are no doctors in the islands who work with Lyme either. Within a few minutes of me telling Shawn what happened we called my Lyme Specialist in Maryland. I was blessed to get an appointment the next week. After a crazy week of arranging things and packing we were off to Maryland.
It still hurts to remember the way I felt that day. When the trailers for The Vow came out I burst out crying every time I saw it. So many of the clips they showed were like a playback of our life in the months following September. I now avoid seeing anything to do with the movie but when I do I was encouraged to start thanking God for all the things He has blessed us with especially during that difficult time.